Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
