So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
