Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
