so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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