I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
