loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
