Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
