you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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