So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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