I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
