The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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