I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
