i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You can't just leave with hair like that
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Congratulations! We have a period
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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