Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
