Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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