im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
the day after is always just damage control
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
