you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
