is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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