i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
