so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
