bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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