This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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