I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
