i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Randomize
