I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
