the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
