I wish I could teleport
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
