O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize