I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
