We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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