I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
she told me i tasted like america
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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