im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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