You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
