I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
