watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
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