I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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