its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
