Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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