we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize