my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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