this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
