i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize