oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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