Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
