Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
