I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
