if you like me you must not know who I am
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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