your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
