No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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