Whoa Z and x make the same sound
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
